How do I deal with an emotionally reserved father?
So here is my story. My father is a nice, highly-educated man. He is not one to yell, drink heavily, or otherwise act like an idiot. In this I know I am very fortunate.
However, he does not show affection well. He occasionally awkwardly hugs my grandmother or my mother when prompted. I have never seen my parents show affection towards one another in public, although they have been married for 30 years. I have been able to hug him exactly two times in my adult life.
We have always had a good ‘professional’ relationship. We work on technology, home improvement, and automotive projects together, and have good intellectual discussions. However, we never have personal discussions. About anything. I am certainly not “daddy’s little girl”. He has never told me who not to date, or made any direct comment about me being female. He has never even asked if I were currently in a relationship.
I have no brothers, and sometimes I wonder if the problem is more that he wanted me to be a son, or that he does not know how to approach a daughter. The weird thing is, my parents aren’t particularly conservative in any other way. He has no reservations about doing ‘unmanly’ things like going to art museums and operas.
Has anybody else been in a similar situation? I’m nearing 30, now, and I have the sneaking suspicion that in the long run this has had a an adverse effect on my desire to have relationships beyond professional with men, or to show affection to anybody. I just can’t imagine saying anything to make a change. Any thoughts are helpful.